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<title>Arise minion! ...oh shit, not you! by oppopopo</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834058">Arise minion! ...oh shit, not you!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/oppopopo/pseuds/oppopopo'>oppopopo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto, OMORI (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU, Humor, OOC, Parody, Spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:28:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>508</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834058</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/oppopopo/pseuds/oppopopo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A girl died. A blond part-time janitor needs him a minion to make him some good ramen. What better opportunity than this? If only she wasn't also his tutor... Damn it! Warning: Spoilers. Pure crack and OOC. One-shot.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Arise minion! ...oh shit, not you!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or OMORI</strong>
</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>Author's note: Warning, pure crack. Plus I'm just going by the story in the wiki, so possibly OOC and AU. Haha.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Also spoilers for the game in case you haven't played it yet.</strong>
</p><hr/><p>Mari fell down the stairs and died.</p><p>Sunny stared at her cooling body with horror creeping over him. Numbing him to the world and trapping him in a trance. His eyes glazed as he felt for her pulse, and tears trailed down his-</p><p>"Hoo, boy! Man she's dead!"</p><p>Sunny turned to the janitor, a blond man holding a mop and giving the corpse a bewildered face. Terror pierced Sunny's heart as he glanced between his sister and the janitor. Now somebody else knew-</p><p>"Um, geez. This is weird, haha."</p><p>A burst of rage filled Sunny, at the nonchalant way the janitor laughed.</p><p>"Oh well, nothing to it then. Arise! Minion from the darkest depths of hell! Branded in my name, breath life as you live anew!"</p><p>Sunny stared slack jawed as his sister glowed a bright red and floated up the ground.</p><p>Mari opened her eyes with a gasp, and found herself floating in the air.</p><p>"From henceforth, you shall become the servant of Demon Lord, Uzumaki Naruto! Mwhahaha! May you cook me many a bowl of ramen!"</p><p>Mari turned to the blond, who was deep in his demonic fantasies. Her eyes widened. "Naruto?" The janitor stopped laughing and jerked back with surprise, her voice familiar to his ears. "What are you doing here?" Mari tilted her head. "A-Am I floating?" She immediately fell on her butt. "Oof!"</p><p>The janitor took a good look at her and groaned. "Goddamn it, not you! Damn it lady, first you annoy me to do my homework and then you make me expose my-… Damn it, lady! I'm outta here!"</p><p>Mari frowned at him. "Naruto! Come back!" She stood up, running after him. "Where were you all week! You can't keep missing classes! Naruto!" She followed after the blond, with him begging her to leave him alone, and her doggedly after him.</p><p>Sunny decided to faint and take a nap.</p><p>Basil later found him and took him to his room.</p><p>They later took off on a quest to find the legendary dragon balls to make a wish for some panties.</p><p>Kel decided to become a Beyblade master.</p><p>Aubrey met an unruly high-schooler who called himself a spirit defective and pestered him until he made her his apprentice.</p><p>Hero became a cook. And finally got together with Mari, despite occasionally feeling threatened by the blond senior who'd occasionally show up and command all her attention.</p><p>Mari finally got Naruto to do his homework via ramen bribes. She however came close to dying again while tutoring the blond for his college entrance exams.</p><p>Naruto went on to college and became a professor of philosophy, exploring the world and spreading the truth of ramen.</p><p>Omori's creator saw her characters and wondered what the heck.</p><p>Naruto's creator saw his character and wondered who's gonna be Hokage.</p>
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